The Court Case…

Posted on 29. August 2011 by Jane Helen

16th to 18th of August 2011. Frostating lagmannsrett, Kristiansund.

16th of August. … It was a heavy atmosphere and the pick out of the 10 who was to pledge him guilty or not. It felt like playing bingo. After 27 years of fighting to get believed in… SO many has got to know about it, but I have fought against a wall of disbelief and the clear message: “manage on your own”. With me in the court sat two of my best supporters who has become more like the mother figure in my life.

I am the first to take the stand as the offended and a witness. With me I had the sheets with keywords on so I wouldn’t forget to say anything important. The prosecutor starts to ask me questions about my childhood. After that I start to tell about the years of terror and torture… I fall apart when I have just talked about my 11th birthday and what happened afterwards. ( Just short time before the court case I started remembering dreadful things of abuse, when I am ready I will share with you all what I talked about in the courtroom…). Without my supporters there I am not sure if I would been able to continue that day. After 20 min break I start to tell more. Then we took another brake after a while..

RING RING RING! 110 :-O UNBELIEVEABLE! … Luckily a false alarm, but we all had to exit the courtrooms, luckily it was a brake and not in the MIDLE of a statement.

We all went back indoors and started short time after. Then I had come as far as talking about the abortion when I was 21 years and I saw a psychiatrist at 22 years. Then the last statement about abuse was at 23, before I moved to England in the summer.

Also told about I had been doing since. Having a child, marriage, divorce, work, crisis center etc…

—–

The defendant took the stand in the witness stand … His statement is … His side of the story is something I won’t say anything more about. I was provoked a couple of times, distressed and extremely angry.

I was allowed to comment after his statement, something my lawyer didn’t want me to do, but the judge asked me and I took my chance to have my say. He was quite sure about some years and dates about visitors, and I had proof of these years and dates didn’t add up to his memory. About seasons, like as I moved in the summer and not the autumn to England… Right should be right, therefor a court case.

—–

17 August. … Witness to take the stand is the person who gave birth to the two of us in the case, the defendant and the offended. It became a sad happening, refused to explain herself, but she agreed to be in the courtroom to let the 3 interrigations she had been to got read in the courtroom.

I got called forward to talk about the damages and surviving mechanism I have had because of the abuse. What had happened the last years since I reported him to the police. The stay at the trauma treatment place for sexual abused people at Betania Malvik, and the waiting period for the court case.

—–

The prosecutor then held a declaration about the questions of guilt for the jury that was to withdraw and decide if he was guilty or not in having committed fully intercourse with me before I was 14 years old.

—–

We had a pause for about an hour. Held us close to the courtroom area. I bought the local newspaper of the day and was a bit stunned to read about myself, “Abused sister for 20 years” :-O Is it ME it is written about, or what is it written about here? A little unreal, gets a bit distant from myself in the moment of reading and I am still not quite with it…

—–

In the courtroom the jury comes out of the jury room and back in and sits down on their seats. The jury foreman rises and the defendant has to rise too (I think, didn’t really follow what he was doing). Reads to the court “With more than 6 votes we find the defendant guilty in sexual harassments with the offended”, “ With more than 6 votes we find the defendant guilty in having sexual intercourse with the offended before the age of 14 years”. (The words aren’t quite quoted correctly), but these two points he was found guilty at.

Thank you very much to those who sat in the jury and believed in my statements ❤ For me it is a huge relieve and finally get believed in!

4 of the members in the jury got chosen to sit amongst the judges during the sentencing procedure, the other jury members are allowed to leave the court room.

—–

18 August. … The expert comes in as a witness about the damages I have got and diagnosis I have ended up with, and the future lookouts I have for life and the working life. The diagnoses PTSD and dysthymia (light depression). He believes there is a future to come back to working life and that is a GOAL for me. To always have to live with PTSD I just have to accept.

—–

The sentencing procedure from the prosecutor where she claim 2 years and 6 months in prison :-O …

I knew very well it would be a very low sentencing, after the conversation with her on Monday same week. But I told her straight away what I thought about it. The Norwegian book of the law is a joke! I want to bring the case to the Human right courts in Strasbourg to get my case tried as a human right. It is NOT allowed to torture people and what he did to me was torture. With a book of the law that says black on white: read for yourself § 195 “sentences up to 15 years”, (the law has been recently changed to sentences up to 21 yrs, but he will be taken under the law when this happend). What in the world does a human have to do to get that sentencing? He did EVERYTHING except to kill me! … It is MY human right to fight for MY justice.

—–

24 August. Get his sentencing sent on mail. Sentenced to 2 years in prison where 6 mths. will be done with 2 years probation…

He was also sentenced to pay me 250000 NOK within 14 days of the sentencing has been stated infront of him.

Yes I WON, but I am deeply sad over his sentencing. It is NOTHING compared to EVERYTHING I have been exposed for. THANK YOU VERY MUCH to the Norwegian state that allows torture of children…

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Countryfestivalen i Seljord

Posted on 23. August 2011 by Jane Helen

(Beklager at jeg er på etterskudd med innlegg)

Fra den 27 til den 31 Juli var jeg på min første country festival. Drømmen gikk i oppfyllelse 😀 …

Men til å begynne med så kom jeg til Oslo den 26, hvor jeg gikk i gatene etter terroren. Det var en litt uvirkelighetsfølelse og en atmosfære jeg ikke helt kan beskrive. Med alle de rosene overalt i gatene og mennesker som la de ned med tårer og gråt. Jeg kjøpte tre røde roser å la ned utenfor domkirken, ikke det store havet som vist på TV, men på gressplenen ved siden av. Jeg skrev også i kondolanseprotokollen på universitetet. Gikk opp til slottet og så det store hjertet som var laget av roser ❤

Jeg traff også 3 venner av meg som jeg ikke har sett på 12 år. Vi snakket masse om gamledager og oppdaterte hverandre med hvor vi har vært og hva vi har holdt på med siden sist vi var sammen. Det har vært litt av hvert! Studier, arbeid, reiser, ekteskap, skilsmisser, barn etc…

—–
I Seljord ble jeg først møtt med skilt hvor jeg skulle gå rundt i sentrum, men jeg ble feilledet :-S Men tilslutt fant jeg nå veien og ble skrevet inn 🙂 Finne teltplass ble ganske enkelt og naboene var alle hyggelig de å 🙂 Jeg begynte pakke ut teltet og plutselig kom det to trivelige herremenn på scooter å hjalp meg med å sette det opp i løpet av mindre enn 10 minutter, det er det man kaller god service! 🙂 Forventet ikke at det skulle skje!

Jeg vandret ned i sentrum igjen for å handle litt vann og mat. Når jeg om tilbake så hadde jeg en dame som bodde i teltet ved siden av meg også :-)Vi fikk flere naboer som dagene gikk. Folksomt og med musikk 24-7. Jeg hadde ikke noe imot det, det var som forventet når det var en musikk festival.

Om kveldene så gikk jeg på konserter, de 2 første kveldene danset jeg ikke i det hele tatt, bare var å hørte på musikken. Bandene som spilte var, Richard Magnusson, Gunslingers, Country Sisters, Miss Leslie, Åsmund Åmli Band, Vassendgutane, Tanya Tucker, Sie Gubba og Billy Ray Cyrus.

Jeg hadde en skikkelig cowboyfrokost 2 morgener, tomatbønner, stekt egg, salat og ristet brød. Hadde også noen virkelig cowboy middager, en av mine naboer var så snill å ga bort litt også. Jeg endte opp å danse med mange forskjellige, også den siste kvelden så måtte jeg si nei takk til danser, fordi beina mine da ikke ville ha vært i stand til å bære meg. Det var en opplevelse for livet 😀

Jeg tror jeg må dra tilbake dit 😉

Posted in Alle siste innlegg på Norsk, Reise, Ukategorisert | 4 Comments

Countryfestival in Seljord

Posted on 23. August 2011 by Jane Helen

(I apologize for being behind on posting)

From 27th to the 31st of July I went to my first country festival. A dream came true 😀 …

But to begin with I first came to Oslo on the 26th, where I walked in the streets after the terror. It was a bit unreal and a kind of atmosphere I can’t quite describe. All the roses in the streets everywhere and people laying them down with tears and cries. I bought 3 red roses and layed them down outside the church, not on the big field shown on TV, but on the gras filed beside it. I also wrote in the protocol at the univeristy. Walked up to the castle and saw the heartshaped field of roses there too ❤

I also met 3 friends of mine I haven't seen in 12 years. We talked a lot about the old days and we updated eachother with where we been and have done the last 12 yrs. It has been quite a lot! Studies, work, travels, marriage, divorce, children etc..

—–
At Seljord I first was met by a walk around town following signs leading me lost :-S But In the end I finally found the way and got signed in 🙂 Finding my tent site was easy and my neighbours turned out to be great too 🙂 I started packing my tent out and all of a sudden two gentlemen on scooters came around to help me set it up, so it was done in like less than 10 min, that is what I call service! 😀 Didn't expect that to happen!

I went downtown again to buy some water and food. And when I came back I had got a lady stying alone in a tent too right beside me 🙂 We got more neighbours as the days went by. Crowded and music 24-7. But I didn't mind it, it was kind of expected as it is a music festival.

In the evenings I went to the conserts, the 2 first nights I didn't dance at all, just staied and listened to the music. The bands palying was, Richard Magnusson, Gunslingers, Country Sisters, Miss Leslie, Åsmund Åmli Band, Vassendgutane, Tanya Tucker, Sie Gubba og Billy Ray Cyrus.

I had a real cowboy breakfast 2 mornings, baked beans, fried eggs, salad and toast. Also a couple of real cowboy dinners, one made by my neighbours that was very kind to offer it away. I ended up dancing a lot with several people, and the last evening I had to say no thanks to dances, as my feet wouldn't been able to carry me. It was a lifetime experience 😀

I think I will have to go back there 😉

Posted in Ukategorisert | 1 Comment

I Hope – Jeg håper

Posted on 6. August 2011 by Jane Helen

I hope for all the childrens sake we all can take responisbility to do NOT do what our adults did wrong to us as children, to NOT continue to be passed on downwards to the children of today. Like war and abuse. The worst part is the torture of sexual abuse that violate the most private thing we all are equiped with.

For ALL the worlds children sake, DARE to TALK about it and be responsible to stop it from happening AGAIN ❤ Dare to believe in the child who speaks about it and set it free from the nightmare ❤

Jeg håper for alle barns skyld at vi alle kan ta ansvar for å IKKE gjøre hva våre voksne gjorde galt mens vi var barn, og IKKE fortsette å videreføre det mot barna som vokser opp idag. Som krig og overgrep. Den verste torturen er seksuelle overgrep som krenker det mest private vi alle er utstyrt med.

For ALLE verdens barn skyld, VÅG å SNAKKE om det og være ansvarlig å stoppe det fra å skje IGJEN ❤ Våg å tro på barnet som forteller om det og sett det fri fra marerittet ❤

Posted in All latest posts in English, Alle siste innlegg på Norsk, Music, Musikk | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Siste nedtellingen… Forhåpentligvis…

Posted on 4. August 2011 by Jane Helen

11 dager, 281 timer, 16 tusen minutter og 1 million sekunder igjen :-S … Det er mindre enn de 8 millionene sekundene det var da jeg startet nedtellingen her i våres.

Som en blekksprut med 8 armer som holder rundt meg og drar meg til seg. Kan ikke slippe unna det, og dukkker jeg ikke opp så blir jeg fengslet for å ha hindret rettens gang. Jeg vil IKKE dit, men jeg må…

Har han ikke stjålet nok? Nå er det sønnen min som betaler med at han ikke får ha mamman’ sin hos seg, fordi hun er ikke istand til å ta seg av livet akkurat nå. Takket være alt dette! Hvem kan kalle dette normalt? …

Det er best dette er siste gangen, ikke mere ankesak, ingen flere rettsaler…

Posted in Alle siste innlegg på Norsk, Jane Helen's liv | Tagged | 6 Comments

The last count down… Hopefully…

Posted on 4. August 2011 by Jane Helen

11 days, 281 hours, 16 thousand minutes and 1 million seconds left :-S … That is less than the 8 million seconds it all started counting down from this spring.

Like an octopus with 8 arms holding around you and drawing it towards it. Can’t escape it, and if I don’t turn up, I am the one who get jailed for contempt of the court. I do NOT want to be there, but I have to…

Haven’t he stolen enough? Now my son is the one who is paying for not having his mom around, because she don’t know how to handle life. Thanks to all this! Who can call this normal? …

Better be the last time, no more appealing, no more courtrooms…

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Hva Du Gjør Mot Meg Er Galt!

Posted on 4. August 2011 by Jane Helen

Kan du ikke se
at jeg skjelver

Kan du ikke høre
at jeg skriker

Kan du ikke se
at det du gjør
mot meg er galt

Du gjør meg vondt
tar på meg slik

Ta hendene dine bort
gjem den tingen i buksa di

La meg være i fred

Du gjør meg galt!

Når du har gått
gråter jeg meg i søvn

Klarer ikke gå på do
Ikke pusse tenner
Ikke spise eller drikke
Ikke gå på skolen

Bader i kaldt vann
som farges rødt av blod

Det skjer så mye mer
enn bare det du gjorde

Det du gjør mot meg er galt!

Janne Helen Tømmervåg
20.07.2011

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Terroren og … kollapsen

Posted on 24. July 2011 by Jane Helen

Terroren i hovedstaden og på Utøya…
Mine tanker går til de som er rammet og står midt oppi dette, de som har mistet sine og til de som var vitner og ble såret ❤

Jeg har ikke forstand til å forstå det, tror ingen har, kanskje for det beste! … Hva er det som går av mennesket som gjør slike handlinger? At de har mistet vettet ja det forstår vi jo, men handlingen av slik karakter er umenneskelig. Uten empati og forstand til å forstå konsekvenser.

Bildene fra hovedstaden og Utøya gjorde meg uvel. Særlig de fra de unge som var i vannet, og kommentatorene nevner antallet ca døde da rakner det, gråten kommer og jeg skjelver. Så sinnssykt meningsløst! Makabert, grusomt, ordene stopper opp…

Triggere og kolaps…
Bildene og historiene trigger masse i meg. Fra mine egen traume opplevelser som enda ikke er bearbeidet og snakket om. De kommer litt og litt frem og ut av meg.

Først å fremst så ble jeg syk av synet av ansiktet av personen bak dette, han minner meg om min overgriper… Det andre er at han kommer sier han er politi også at han skal hjelpe, det trigger mine minner fra “mor” som sier “jeg er glad i deg” også kommer slaget fra sleiva eller hånda. Den terroren kjenner jeg meg igjenn i, men jeg lever enda, gang på gang… Og barnevakten som beskylder meg som 6 åring for å lyve når jeg snakker sant! De ungdommene som tror det er tull, men så ser de plutselig blodet som renner og døde mennesker… Jeg kjenner på smerten deres midt oppi alt kaoset.. Hodet mitt og kroppen min takler ikke mer og…

Jeg kollapser og begynner bare å gråte/skrike sinnssykt, klarer ikke sitte oppreist og faller på gulvet, hyperventilerer og blir borte. Hører stemmer som snakker til meg, tenker tanker inne i hodet mitt, men klarer ikke si noe, pusten er tung og tar alle krefter, jeg skjelver, rister og blir uvel i hele kroppen. All energi går til å bare gråte og skrike… Tilslutt slutter gråten, men klarer enda ikke si noe, få ut tankene mine… Nummen i hele meg, har vansker med å puste strekker meg etter den, føler at jeg trenger oksygen og får til slutt sagt at jeg må ha luft, vinduet blir åpnet, men jeg ber om en legesjekk for sikkerhetsskyld. Helst burde jeg ha vært på en avdeling å fått ut det jeg bærer på… men legevakta sier at de ikke har slikt akutt team stående klar på natt/helg… ??? Hvorfor ikke? Jeg klare ikke være alene for frykt for enda en kollaps så ber om å komme meg på krisesenteret en tur igjen til neste dag. De skulle skaffe skyss, men det tok slik tid at jeg bare bestemte meg for å rusle de ca 300 meterene selv.

Har sovet og hvilt meg etter en kraftanstrengelse uten like!…

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The terror and … colaps

Posted on 24. July 2011 by Jane Helen

The terror in the capitol and the island Utøya
My thoughts goes out to those who are affected and stands in the midle of all this, to those who has lost loved ones, those who witnessed it and got wounded ❤

I am unable to understand it, think noone can, maybe for the best! … What is wrong with people that do such things? That they lost their minds we can understand, but the action of such kind is unhuman. Without empathy and sence of mind to understand the consequences.

The pictures from the capitol and the island Utøya made me unwell. Especially those in the water, and then the commentators mentions roughly how many is deseased it all just falls apart, starts to cry and I am shivering. So insanely meaningless! Horrible, sick, words just stops…

Triggers and colaps
The pictures and stories being told is triggering lots in me. From my own traumas wich isn’t worked on yet or been talked about. A little by little it comes out of me.

Firstly I got ill by the sight of the face of the person behind this, he reminded me of my abuser… The other thing is he comes and tells he is police and he is going to help, it triggers me from the time my own “mother says “I love you” and then hits me. That terror I recognize, but I am still alive, time after time… And the babysitter who accuses me of lying as a 6 yr old when I am speaking the truth! Those youngsters that believes it is just a joke, until they see the blood and the dead bodies… I feel their pains in the midst of the chaos.. My head and body can’t handle it anymore…

I am colapsing and starts to cry/scream insanely loud, can’t sit up and falls to the floor, hyperventilates and falls out. I can hear vocies talking to me, thinking thoughts inside my mind, can’t manage to say anything, the breath is heavy and takes all the energy, I am shivering, shakeing and gets nousous all over my body. All energy goes to crying and screaming… In the end the cries stops, but am still unable to say anything, get my thoughts out… Numb all over me, having problems breathing and reaches for it, feels like I need ocsygen and gets to say it in the end I needd air. The windows gets opened, but I am asking for a check up at the doccters for safety reasons. I should had been at a ward for getting the stuff I cary on out of me… but the emergncy tells me there is no acute team ready to help at night time and weekends… ??? Why not? I am unable to be alone for the night in fear of another colaps so ask to go to the crisis center again until the next day. They was going to fix transportation, but it took some time so I decided to just walk the 300 meters on me own.

Have slept and rested after the energyblast of my life!…

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Kvernberget og utsikten over Kristiansund i Juli

Posted on 20. July 2011 by Jane Helen

var en tur på Kvernberget sammen med ett par venner den 19.07.2011. Der ble dette fantastisk flotte bildet tatt med utsikten over byen der jeg bor.

… Om du klikker på bildet og får det i stort format så kan du faktisk se at fergå ligg til kai igjen å 😀 … Rart å tenke på at den tok en i gamle dager du… Heeh, ja det har blitt det nå! Tikk takkk tiden går, men minnene de består ❤

Posted in Alle siste innlegg på Norsk, Fjelltur maraton | Tagged | 2 Comments